dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize