I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
