everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize