Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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