Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
