I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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