the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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