i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
