dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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