i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize