I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Oh god it's open bar.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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