We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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