I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
