I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
