Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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