OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
