My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
