My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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