theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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