you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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