No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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