Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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