how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
