Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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