I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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