So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
