So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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