i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We don't watch enough power rangers
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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