I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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