I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
