it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
