Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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