Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize