I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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