So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
