Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
