$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
