some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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