well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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