Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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