Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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