So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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