I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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