i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
