we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
