I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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