I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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