I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
