She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
