I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
