is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
