So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize