Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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