This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
