we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
