Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I will be naked everywhere
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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