I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
