Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
