Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
