That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
