Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
