God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
