I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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