I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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