I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
