how can u be prego again
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
