There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
