she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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