Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
