i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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