I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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