i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Everyone says I win the strip club
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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