Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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