apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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