You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
