Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
