i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
