So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
