Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
