hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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