There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
