The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
