I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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